Drinking To Blot It All Out
I'll share one. And it doesn't have to be anon.
During the worst of my symptoms of PTSD and dissociation, when all the memories were flooding back to me, I started drinking heavily at night. It was really just to sleep, without the nightmares. To blot it all out.
So I am better now. But I can't kick the drinking. Granted it's far better now than it was a couple of years ago. But still every night, a couple glasses of wine, sometimes more.
It's too much. I am not in denial at all. I used to drink just a glass or two with dinner once or twice a week. I would love to be able to go back to that.
AA isn't for me....just the whole God thing, and having to say I am powerless seems way too self-defeating. I am trying to overcome being powerless. (I do admire those who utilize the AA program....it's just not a program right for me.)
So I thought if I could just get it there, maybe I can go for a day without the wine, then another.....WW